Thursday, May 9, 2013

Words - dVerse May 9, 2013




making love with our words
naked on sheets of white
taking flight two soaring birds
warming our souls in the night

each syllable rolling from our lips
whispering the language of love
swaying to the rhythm of our hips
we fit perfectly, a warm satin glove

crossing eternity within a line
lingering in the hands of time
your ink spilling with mine
as we write a passionate rhyme

caught in the moment, of our words
our souls engage as we travel westwards


freepik.com

29 comments:

  1. oo la la...i love it...a little verbal intimacy in the poetry...smiles...i like your blend of that...and playfulness along the way as well...rolling syllables to the rhythm of hips....sizzle...smiles.

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    1. Good Evening Brian,

      Thanks so much and I'm glad you enjoyed the sizzle.

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  2. smiles...the love of writing...and the write of love...nice intimacy and closeness in this..loved esp. the ink spilling with each other...nice

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    1. Claudia,

      Thank you, the intimacy of a writer captured in the moment.

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  3. A lovely love poem. And I like the flow of it a lot.

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    1. Good Morning,

      Thank you for the read and reply it is always nice to say hi to you!

      Delete
  4. This is beautiful, Truedessa. I love especially the first two lines which I found particularly clever.

    making love with our words
    naked on sheets of white

    So much sweetness throughout!

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  5. Passionate write specially the ink spilling and fitting perfectly with the glove ~

    As to the form though, the ending words for the rhyming pattern was not followed example: night (line 4) should also rhyme with line 6 (not love) ~ You can refer to Tony's pattern in the post ~

    Over-all a lovely work though, very romantic voice ~

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    Replies
    1. Grace

      Thank you I think I was caught up in the Stanza rhyme and lost it in the flow of the whole piece. I will revamp it after work. should be easy to do without losing the integrity of my words.

      Delete
  6. OK - first the bad news; this is neither terza rima nor a terza rima sonnet ...

    but what we do have here is a lovely, intimate, sensuous sonnet that follows the Shakespearean rhyme pattern perfectly and has some fabulous imagery. Well written.

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    1. Hi

      Thanks for the comment whether good or bad news (smiling) with that being said it was fun to write whether I kept to form or not. It is always good to try new concepts. I guess that is why I enjoy free verse or writing my songs. Thank you for seeing the whole piece in whatever form it is..thanks again for you insight!

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  7. Look at you go
    Being all sensual with words at your show
    As they bring for a chime
    That is surely sublime
    Even for a mime
    But watch out, in some places saying or doing such things is a crime LOL

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    1. There he is my friend Pat
      and how is the cat this fine day
      I played with some words but
      seems I didn't get it quite right
      but, that is ok still fun to do
      will give it a whirl another time
      been busy working on another
      song shouldn't be too long
      glad you came over to play
      So to that I say hey!

      PS seems I even have to rhyme what I say to you..Laughing

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    2. Got you addicted
      But don't be conflicted
      Just rhyme away
      And pffft to the rules I say

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  8. What a stunning poem! I'm in awe at the creativity poems display. Your images are lovely. I have to use a rhyming dictionary just to make a two line response to Pat (above)!

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    Replies
    1. Hello,

      Thanks for stopping in and reading my work. Your kindness is appreciated.

      Delete
  9. '...we fit perfectly, a warm satin glove...'
    Is it hot in here or has someone been inspired? ;)

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    1. Blue Grumpster,

      I may have had a bit of inspiration on my journey recently. So, tell me why so blue..makes me want to write a blues song..oh, wait I have already written a few. Perhaps, I will post one soon.

      Nothing like the color blue..

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    2. Oh why so blue? Truedessa I ask myself the same question on a daily basis. I've been this way as long as I can remember. Ever seen a melancholic 8-year-old? I was one of those. I guess it's hard-wired, but that's alright. I've given up on denying what's brutally obvious.

      The blues... I love them. Something tells me you could've guessed :)

      Have a great weekend.

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    3. Good Morning,

      Thanks for the note and I do understand the blues. Just relax my friend as sometimes it is all we can do:)

      Wishing you a great weekend as well....

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    4. 'Making love with words...' as tasteful as sparkling wine
      So much classier, too, than my blue Ding-Dong lines... ;)

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    5. "as tasteful as sparkling wine" I like that line..

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  10. Beautiful! like Brian i like the intimacy you put in your words... affecting & engaging... smiles...

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    1. Kelvin,

      Thank you so much for visiting and the lovely comment. Have a great day!

      Delete
  11. So beautifully descriptive, the depth of a writer's being, spilling forth in "ink". Really NICE!

    "...our souls engage as we travel westwards."

    So were you on a transcontinental train? Canada?
    (Just kidding!)

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    Replies
    1. Hi Steve,

      Thank you for your kind comment. Sorry, to say I was not on a transcontinental train - even though I imagine it would be an amazing trip. I think the travel was more of a soul journey. Thanks again!

      Have a great day!

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