Thursday, January 8, 2015

Dream or Reality?

 A hoarse cry rips from my lungs
my sweat-drenched bare skin
shimmers in firelight
I don't know where I am
the deer
Who sleeps beside me
softly licks my hand
What's happening
My soul was walking in a f-fog
the gray shimmering world
I've just left
   my heart
I'm still falling
to sleep  
into the light of the fires
Are you going to wake me every night
 while we're on our journey
I blink convincing myself this is the real world

posted for dVerse writing Blackout Poetry
hosted by Bjorn. I picked this random
page and let the words speak.


  1. wow. the deer next to you licking your it a surreal feel...are you going to wake me every night...makes me wonder who you are talking to if you know but we do not...

  2. A whole story in a few fragments!

  3. You took to this challenge brilliantly; & even though the blackout process often leads us into abstract reality, your piece had a cohesive sense of place, a workable sense of mystery; nice job.

  4. Wow, and speak they did. I MUST try this form. Cant find the right book though.

  5. it would be so comfortable to wake to a deer licking the hand... that is a wonderful image

  6. Oh.. a deer licking the hand. I want it to be real. I like the voice that you have given to the poem.

  7. Such dreariness .. Sounds like a version of Eden. The deer lickin the hand... A wonderful image.

  8. This turned out beautifully ~ I like the soul walking in the fog, and the seemingly dream like reality ~

  9. Had a dream quality to it indeed, as bambi even played a part lol my mind went to wearing with the f-fog. Hopefully your eyes it doesn't clog.

  10. What a beautiful, dreamlike place you took us to.

  11. This feels like the beginning of some sort of dystopian novel. These lines certainly create some kind of mystery.

  12. I like the idea of the deer licking the hand. That sounds very, very peaceful to me...whether it is the real world or a dream world!

  13. The deer made me think of the Unicorn. A spiritual beast one can only meet in dreams or meditation on the inner planes.

  14. What a vivid piece. You did a great job with the blackout.

  15. Fog always creates such atmosphere and including it as an-almost character in this poem works so well. Mysterious, almost eerie.

  16. this reminds me of a fairytale, though it also asks for answers and reassurance. i love the imagery of the firelight and the fog...i could imagine such a hazy illumination.