Monday, July 13, 2015

Into the Horizon


steadily she follows the track
seeking light in an eastern sky
shadowy spirit dressed in black
steadily she follows the track
sun on her face, moon on her back
she missed the train it passed her by
steadily she follows the track
seeking light in an eastern sky

posted for Magpie Tales 278

35 comments:

  1. I like this. The repetition seems to strengthen her determination.

    Thanks for visiting.

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    1. Gail, Thanks she is determine following the tracks into a new day. Appreciate you constant support here.

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  2. I like the repetition, too. This has a great flow.

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    1. Thanks - I decided on a Triolet as I wanted the repetitive impact..

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  3. nice
    new post: http://melodyjacob1.blogspot.com/2015/07/white-woodzee.html

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  4. Lovely work ,dear , fsscinating concept , the dawn, my natural inclination is to sunset , because i was born then ....

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    1. Thanks - I couldn't decide if she should head to a western sky or eastern sky...but, thought better to walk into a sunrise..new life...

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  5. I like how each line begins with the same Ss sound, maybe like the hiss of the train steam - and hey, if you miss the train, you can still folow the trail. Good on her for following - as many would just say "I missed the train so I must stay"

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    1. ha - so clever of you hear the "ssss" sound...originally I was thinking of desert rattles..hissing in the darkness...

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  6. Determined to follow that track, even if the train is long gone. Have to get there, the way life should be.

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    1. I guess if one has a destination they must follow the path...

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  7. I hope she makes it to her destination.

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  8. I like her hat... :-)

    ~shoes~

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    1. haha - Hi Shoes - that is one nice hat indeed...How are you my dear friend?

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  9. Haunting story...leaves us puzzled...where's she going.... Thanks, Truedessa for stopping by :)

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    1. yw - humbird - I always enjoy reading your poetry...

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  10. The middle is my favorite:
    "steadily she follows the track
    sun on her face, moon on her back"

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    1. I think that is my favorite part as well..

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  11. You could play this as a tune - it has a lovely rhythmic quality

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  12. You could play this as a tune - it has a lovely rhythmic quality

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  13. Seeking light in an eastern sky... I used to do that.

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    1. Blue - I think you should still seek that eastern sky...it is where the sun rises..Hope you are well Blue...

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    2. Back in 2011, when the docs told me I was really ill, life-threatening even, I went outside the next morning and watched that sun rise. I did not take it for granted, I tell ya.

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  14. Yes, rhythmic ... perfect word to describe this.

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    1. thanks I like the sound of that word :)

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  15. Very creatively put together...

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    1. Thanks Tess for the interesting prompt

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  16. I like the rhythm of repetition and the last line is perfect!

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    1. Thanks this form is Triolet and I thought it would work for the message I was trying to convey. Again thanks for the visit...

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