Quickly opening my sky blue umbrella
hopscotching through newly formed
puddles...
dashing for the car my heart quickens
raindrops blur my vision...
still I wonder who'll stop the rain
as the radio softly plays the repeating refrain
sometimes heaven cries and so do I
written for dVerse
writing a quadrille consisting of 44 words
incorporating the word quick
written for dVerse
writing a quadrille consisting of 44 words
incorporating the word quick
I love the form here, the quick change from hopscotching to blurred vision and shared crying. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteHopscotching through can be fun to do until the rain won't stop and the tears still drop.
ReplyDeleteLater this week I'll be wondering the same thing...
ReplyDeleteI love this:
ReplyDelete"sometimes heaven cries and so do I"
And I can see that "sky blue umbrella."
The sad ending tugs my heart. I carried that umbrella today too.
ReplyDeleteSuch vivid imagery in this piece. A sad ending but a truthful one. Not all endings are happy. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it! I love everything about this piece. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteYou cover an array of emotions in this lovely quadrille.
ReplyDeleteThe hopscotching at the beginning made me think this would be lighthearted, but you twisted it with the song and the mutual raining at the end. Well done.
ReplyDeletethe foot steps and the rain drops echo the flight of the heart
ReplyDeleteLove the rain - love your quadrille, with its strains of musical memories! I especially like the idea of 'hopscotching through newly formed puddles'.
ReplyDeleteOh, that ending is so heartfelt. A beautiful write — very well-penned.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love this song.
-HA
Nice description of the rain. I especially liked the hopscotching.
ReplyDeleteYes, sometimes we all cry.
ReplyDelete"sometimes heaven cries and so do I".. sigh this is so poignant and tugs directly at the heart!
ReplyDeleteI've always liked the phrase /Who'll stop the rain/. It was a great movie back in the 70's starring Nick Nolte. I adored the twist ending and lively descriptions.
ReplyDeleteI love the way you used the rain, both the rush for cover and the depression of rains.
ReplyDeleteLike how you change the mood of the poem from start to finish.
ReplyDeleteVery nice phrasing. Great song reference, too. Of course, I'm old enough to remember that song when it was a Top 40 hit!
ReplyDeleteNice image, 'hopscotching thru puddles' good write and the song took me down memory lane
ReplyDeleteHi Truedessa - love these ideas you've expressed here ... beautiful poem - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem! You are so talented! Big Hugs!
ReplyDeleteA range of emotion in this quadrille, reminiscent of life ups and downs. The last line is so moving.
ReplyDelete