Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Day Love Slipped Away - For Dverse Feb. 19th


Love Slipped Away


My heart can't see what the mind conceives

a soul in aching misery, skipping beats

emotions ran on a river of blood

overflowing the banks, deposits of dreams

withdrawals of hidden memories



I know our fate, feel the curse

but, I can't give up because it hurts

you were my love my deepest desire

a love designed from another time

I called you mine, but your ears didn't hear



truth is loved slipped away, slipped away

the day our voices fell silent

tears spilled behind jaded eyes

I felt you fading away..



Our love drowning in a river of despair

choking on a rapid current of change

struggling to grip that rope of hope

signaling my emotional distress

letting go difficult to do...



Drifting into another world

someone waits on the other side

a hand reaches out and touches mine

I feel his glowing warmth giving me life

making me strong to carry on..



Truth is love slipped away, slipped away

the day our voices fell silent

but, the sun will shine again

 a new voice will be heard...

24 comments:

  1. Truth is love slipped away, slipped away - This is so sad ~ I like the glimmer of hope in the last stanza ~

    Good to see you at D'verse ~

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    1. Hi, Thanks for stopping in and yes it is sad but, there is always hope.

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  2. truth is love slipped away the day our voices went silent...sad...but true as well in how communication breaks down and then the relationship...letting go can def be hard as well...

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    1. Hi Brian,

      Truth is love slipped away..sad but, sometimes voices can be found again.

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  3. Replies
    1. Hello, Thanks for leaving a note. I guess it does leave a bit of a chill as it is a sad write.

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  4. Hey there! I'm glad to see you back!

    Love is such a precious thing that we must nurture and take great care with... this is beautiful!

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    1. Hi Dana,

      Thanks so much for stopping in and for your support. You are right love is a rare gem that should be cherished.

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  5. i like that in the letting go, there's a hand reaching out...speaks of hope and new life...

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    1. Claudia, Thanks so much for the comment it is appreciated. I believe there is always hope.

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  6. The pain of letting go and the hope of what's to come. I like it!

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    1. Hi, Nice to see you here and thanks for commenting. Like anything in life letting go can be difficult to do.

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  7. You've expressed some powerful emotions really beautifully here, but I found the third line a bit clunky, which is a real shame.

    What you have is:

    on a river of blood emotions did run
    overflowing


    I'd suggest changing it to:

    emotions ran on a river of blood
    overflowing


    It just seems like a more natural constructin to me.

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    1. Hi Thanks so much for reading my piece and I appreciate your feedback. I do like your suggestion. Perhaps, I can incorporate into my work.

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  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Hi Pat,

      Thanks for the comment it looks like I accidentally deleted it when I tried to fix my reply. So sorry as I did enjoy your comment and thanks so much for stopping in as it is appreciated.

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  9. "the sun will shine again" and may it shine brightly for you !!

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    1. Hello, The sun will shine again as it must rise with each and every new day.

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  10. So sad...love slipped away, but your last verse gives hope another love will come...beautiful piece.

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    1. Hi Susie,

      Thanks so much for the comment. I actually wrote this a while back. I am so glad that so many could feel the emotion that I was aiming for as we all know the pain of loss in some form.

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  11. Sorrowful. The stanza beginning with "our love drowning in a river" is easily the most powerful imagery in the piece, and you work the theme throughout it well. I was happy to see this piece end on a lifting note. :)

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    1. Hi,

      Thanks for reading this one and the reply. Well, the sun will eventually shine again as it is the way of the universe.

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