making love with our words
naked on sheets of white
taking flight two soaring birds
warming our souls in the night
each syllable rolling from our lips
whispering the language of love
swaying to the rhythm of our hips
we fit perfectly, a warm satin glove
crossing eternity within a line
lingering in the hands of time
your ink spilling with mine
as we write a passionate rhyme
caught in the moment, of our words
our souls engage as we travel westwards
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| freepik.com |
oo la la...i love it...a little verbal intimacy in the poetry...smiles...i like your blend of that...and playfulness along the way as well...rolling syllables to the rhythm of hips....sizzle...smiles.
ReplyDeleteGood Evening Brian,
DeleteThanks so much and I'm glad you enjoyed the sizzle.
smiles...the love of writing...and the write of love...nice intimacy and closeness in this..loved esp. the ink spilling with each other...nice
ReplyDeleteClaudia,
DeleteThank you, the intimacy of a writer captured in the moment.
A lovely love poem. And I like the flow of it a lot.
ReplyDeleteGood Morning,
DeleteThank you for the read and reply it is always nice to say hi to you!
This is beautiful, Truedessa. I love especially the first two lines which I found particularly clever.
ReplyDeletemaking love with our words
naked on sheets of white
So much sweetness throughout!
Mary thanks so much!
DeletePassionate write specially the ink spilling and fitting perfectly with the glove ~
ReplyDeleteAs to the form though, the ending words for the rhyming pattern was not followed example: night (line 4) should also rhyme with line 6 (not love) ~ You can refer to Tony's pattern in the post ~
Over-all a lovely work though, very romantic voice ~
Grace
DeleteThank you I think I was caught up in the Stanza rhyme and lost it in the flow of the whole piece. I will revamp it after work. should be easy to do without losing the integrity of my words.
OK - first the bad news; this is neither terza rima nor a terza rima sonnet ...
ReplyDeletebut what we do have here is a lovely, intimate, sensuous sonnet that follows the Shakespearean rhyme pattern perfectly and has some fabulous imagery. Well written.
Hi
DeleteThanks for the comment whether good or bad news (smiling) with that being said it was fun to write whether I kept to form or not. It is always good to try new concepts. I guess that is why I enjoy free verse or writing my songs. Thank you for seeing the whole piece in whatever form it is..thanks again for you insight!
Look at you go
ReplyDeleteBeing all sensual with words at your show
As they bring for a chime
That is surely sublime
Even for a mime
But watch out, in some places saying or doing such things is a crime LOL
There he is my friend Pat
Deleteand how is the cat this fine day
I played with some words but
seems I didn't get it quite right
but, that is ok still fun to do
will give it a whirl another time
been busy working on another
song shouldn't be too long
glad you came over to play
So to that I say hey!
PS seems I even have to rhyme what I say to you..Laughing
Got you addicted
DeleteBut don't be conflicted
Just rhyme away
And pffft to the rules I say
What a stunning poem! I'm in awe at the creativity poems display. Your images are lovely. I have to use a rhyming dictionary just to make a two line response to Pat (above)!
ReplyDeleteHello,
DeleteThanks for stopping in and reading my work. Your kindness is appreciated.
'...we fit perfectly, a warm satin glove...'
ReplyDeleteIs it hot in here or has someone been inspired? ;)
Blue Grumpster,
DeleteI may have had a bit of inspiration on my journey recently. So, tell me why so blue..makes me want to write a blues song..oh, wait I have already written a few. Perhaps, I will post one soon.
Nothing like the color blue..
Oh why so blue? Truedessa I ask myself the same question on a daily basis. I've been this way as long as I can remember. Ever seen a melancholic 8-year-old? I was one of those. I guess it's hard-wired, but that's alright. I've given up on denying what's brutally obvious.
DeleteThe blues... I love them. Something tells me you could've guessed :)
Have a great weekend.
Good Morning,
DeleteThanks for the note and I do understand the blues. Just relax my friend as sometimes it is all we can do:)
Wishing you a great weekend as well....
'Making love with words...' as tasteful as sparkling wine
DeleteSo much classier, too, than my blue Ding-Dong lines... ;)
"as tasteful as sparkling wine" I like that line..
DeleteBeautiful! like Brian i like the intimacy you put in your words... affecting & engaging... smiles...
ReplyDeleteKelvin,
DeleteThank you so much for visiting and the lovely comment. Have a great day!
Beautiful poem! :)
ReplyDeleteayala,
DeleteThank you so much!
So beautifully descriptive, the depth of a writer's being, spilling forth in "ink". Really NICE!
ReplyDelete"...our souls engage as we travel westwards."
So were you on a transcontinental train? Canada?
(Just kidding!)
Hi Steve,
DeleteThank you for your kind comment. Sorry, to say I was not on a transcontinental train - even though I imagine it would be an amazing trip. I think the travel was more of a soul journey. Thanks again!
Have a great day!