Have you ever walked in the rain
feeling pain
Would you wish those gray clouds away
for today
Could you sing songs of summer fun
on the run
dreaming of you and the sun
drying salty tears from my eyes
loving you is hard to deny
feeling pain, for today, on the run
posted for dVerse
hosted by Laura
writing an ovillejo on the theme of rain
That was an interesting form - not sure how I did
Interesting form. Luv how you used it.
ReplyDeleteMuch💖love
This worked well True — bittersweet but smooth… 🙂✌🏼🫶🏼
ReplyDeleteNow that's what I call a seamless conclusion. Really like how you shifted the mood in this, Truedessa.
ReplyDeleteIt is a difficult form but this poem acquits you admirably Truedessa...
ReplyDeleteah how well you brought out tears in the rain - very nice ovillejo Trudessa
ReplyDeleteThat's very sad...
ReplyDeleteThe emotion really flows from this piece...
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
David
SkepticsKaddish.com
Rain rhymes with pain. I bet it wishes it didn't. Poignant poem (jane)
ReplyDeleteA great job working with the form ... rain blended with tears and pain, I can identify.
ReplyDeleteAs always, wonderful job.
ReplyDeleteSandra sandracox.blogspot.com
I think you did very well.❤️🙏🏼
ReplyDeleteI havent heard of this form - you did well. I can feel the emotion in this piece.
ReplyDeleteWell done! 👌❤️
ReplyDeleteSuch an expressive use of the form! Well done.
ReplyDeleteSuch a hard emotion to capture. Love what you did with the form, specially the last line.
ReplyDelete