Saturday, August 15, 2020

Muddy Tracks

The Sunday Muse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road

no one realized what happened that day

there was a pause and the world slowed

the storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road

the sky rumbled in a hazy somber  gray

muddy,  the reaper carried a heavy load

the storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road

no one realized what happened that day

 

linking to The Sunday Muse

 http://thesundaymuse.blogspot.com/2020/08/sunday-muse-121.html

 Thanks you for visiting 

 Storms, light & redemption

16 comments:

  1. I love the form you used! It gives this such a marvelous cadence.

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  2. The repetition is wonderful and brings these lines home straight to the heart! Lovely Truedessa.

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  3. My sister has had no electricity all week, your storm went to Iowa.
    This reads pretty.
    ..

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  4. The parallel lines and the parallel tracks that lead us to uncertainty. Well done!

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  5. You capture the essence of that bleak pair of parallel lines so well with this--I also felt the rolling, the sense of actual wheels making physical wounds on the earth that this gives--your rhyming makes this into a ballad for me, ominous, full of menace, as indeed is the picture imo. I especially like the villanelle-like form, and that the poem only hints, without explaining "what happened that day." That allows the imagination to find its own answer, as poetry should do.

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  6. Such a sense of unease that works well with the ballad you've created.

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  7. "The storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road"...What a marvelous line this would be for the opening line of a lusty novel, with readers breathless to discover "what happened that day"! Compelling write!

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  8. The repetition in your poem has me feeling the storm rolling in ... nicely done.

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  9. Hopefully that storm brought some much needed rain.

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  10. I always delight in the magic you craft through repetition. One can't help but feel the storm, it's ever present, blurring everything, confusing onlookers...

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  11. The repetition bring its home truely, one cannot but get inti the somber mood of your poem
    Happy Sunday. Thank you for dropping by my sumie Sunday today

    Much💝love

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  12. The repetition really works in this poem. Awesome.

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  13. The repetition is a powerful tool in pointing how unaware of how clueless we are to what happens in the world that doesn't sell the biggest headline.

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  14. Things can sure change on a dime. Nature, disease, and just dumb humans.

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  15. I love your descriptions here and the form you used. Now I’m curious about what actually happened that day!

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  16. We never know when the reaper will roll in on the wings of a storm that plows through our dirt roads and disrupts our lives so totally. Awesome write. Makes the reader think, as good writing should.

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