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| The Sunday Muse |
The storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road
no one realized what happened that day
there was a pause and the world slowed
the storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road
the sky rumbled in a hazy somber gray
muddy, the reaper carried a heavy load
the storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road
no one realized what happened that day
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http://thesundaymuse.blogspot.com/2020/08/sunday-muse-121.html
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Storms, light & redemption
I love the form you used! It gives this such a marvelous cadence.
ReplyDeleteThe repetition is wonderful and brings these lines home straight to the heart! Lovely Truedessa.
ReplyDeleteMy sister has had no electricity all week, your storm went to Iowa.
ReplyDeleteThis reads pretty.
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The parallel lines and the parallel tracks that lead us to uncertainty. Well done!
ReplyDeleteYou capture the essence of that bleak pair of parallel lines so well with this--I also felt the rolling, the sense of actual wheels making physical wounds on the earth that this gives--your rhyming makes this into a ballad for me, ominous, full of menace, as indeed is the picture imo. I especially like the villanelle-like form, and that the poem only hints, without explaining "what happened that day." That allows the imagination to find its own answer, as poetry should do.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sense of unease that works well with the ballad you've created.
ReplyDelete"The storm rolled in on a dusty dirt road"...What a marvelous line this would be for the opening line of a lusty novel, with readers breathless to discover "what happened that day"! Compelling write!
ReplyDeleteThe repetition in your poem has me feeling the storm rolling in ... nicely done.
ReplyDeleteHopefully that storm brought some much needed rain.
ReplyDeleteI always delight in the magic you craft through repetition. One can't help but feel the storm, it's ever present, blurring everything, confusing onlookers...
ReplyDeleteThe repetition bring its home truely, one cannot but get inti the somber mood of your poem
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday. Thank you for dropping by my sumie Sunday today
Much💝love
The repetition really works in this poem. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThe repetition is a powerful tool in pointing how unaware of how clueless we are to what happens in the world that doesn't sell the biggest headline.
ReplyDeleteThings can sure change on a dime. Nature, disease, and just dumb humans.
ReplyDeleteI love your descriptions here and the form you used. Now I’m curious about what actually happened that day!
ReplyDeleteWe never know when the reaper will roll in on the wings of a storm that plows through our dirt roads and disrupts our lives so totally. Awesome write. Makes the reader think, as good writing should.
ReplyDelete