Monday, October 21, 2019

Quivering Sails - Mysterious Tale

courtesy of Pixabay


On a far away ship in the Caribbean sea
in the early morn', exactly half past three
mighty sails quiver, under a Halloween moon
 beautiful siren sings a bewitching tune
captain and crew disappeared that day
for their lost souls, the islanders silently pray

written for dVerse
Quadrille #90 - 44 words
incorporating the word quiver

Author's note:  I had trouble with the last line below is my other choice. Please let me
know your thoughts.

what happened out there, the islanders won't say


Thank you for reading!

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23 comments:

  1. De JacksonOctober 21, 2019

    I, too, am drawn by her tune...
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Her tune leaves the listener spellbound...

      Delete
  2. Arcadia MariaOctober 21, 2019

    I like the rhyming pattern in this piece. A great poem for the upcoming Halloween holiday.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Thank you, tis the season of ghosts and mysterious song.

      Delete
  3. Frank HubenyOctober 21, 2019

    I like the sound of the meter and nice line: "beautiful siren sings a bewitching tune"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Thanks Frank, it was a bit of a challenge to write a poetic story in 44 words.

      Delete
  4. GraceOctober 21, 2019

    I like the second option as it is more mysterious. Love the mysterious tale.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Grace, thank you for the feedback, I agree the second does seem more mysterious.

      Delete
  5. MELODY JACOBOctober 22, 2019

    The words describes peace away from the world.
    https://www.melodyjacob.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Enjoy your peace, thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  6. Kim M. RussellOctober 22, 2019

    I love ghost ship poems – echoes of the Ancient Mariner and the Marie Celeste in this one, Truedessa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Me too Kim, I can see that ship of mystery sailing in unknown waters.

      Delete
  7. Pat HattOctober 22, 2019

    The second option sounds like there is more of a mystery to be solved. Maybe the islanders did it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Hi Pat, I agree the second line leaves the ending up to interpretation. I couldn’t decide so I thought I’d throw it out there for thoughts. I will probably change it.

      Delete
  8. Alex J. CavanaughOctober 22, 2019

    That was a haunting story in so few words!

    ReplyDelete
  9. MargaretOctober 22, 2019

    silently pray... rings true to me. The second makes me think the Islanders had something to do with it. Nicely woven.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Thanks Margaret for you feed-back. It's appreciated.

      Delete
  10. brudbergOctober 22, 2019

    I like the other alternative as I imagine the islanders being part of the disaster... maybe taking care of the spoil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Haha - Bjorn, why am I not surprised that you would like the alternative ending. It does leave a bit of mystery lurking about.

      Delete
  11. indybevOctober 22, 2019

    I love the story, and prefer the second closing line. Good job of crafting a mystery in 44 words!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TruedessaOctober 22, 2019

      Thanks Bev, I think the second closing is a win.

      Delete
  12. ayalaOctober 23, 2019

    Lovely. I prefer the second closing. :)

    ReplyDelete

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